Dear Overachieving Human,
Have you ever watched your cat lounge effortlessly and wondered, "How do they do it?" Welcome to the Lazy Cat Doctrine—a guide to mastering relaxation without guilt or effort.
### Lesson One: Stretch-and-Nap
Stretch dramatically, then promptly nap. It's not laziness, it's strategic self-care. Next time someone questions your midday snooze, tell them it's a productivity hack. If they don't buy it, who cares? You're relaxed.
### Lesson Two: Soak Up the Sun
Cats know the best naps happen in sunlit spots. Find yours, feel the warmth, and declare you're photosynthesizing. People might think you're strange, but you’ll be happy and vitamin-D rich.
### Lesson Three: Selective Hearing
Cats ignore everything except food. Follow suit—ignore pointless noise and focus only on what matters (like snacks or naps). Selective hearing: use it wisely, especially around deadlines.
### Lesson Four: Comfort Above All
Cats prioritize comfort, even if that means sprawling on your keyboard. Create your own comfort zone—adjust chairs, pile pillows, claim your space shamelessly.
### Lesson Five: Perfect the Judgy Stare
Your cat has a look that stops interruptions cold. Master this glare for when someone tries to ruin your chill. A good stare says, "I was relaxing-how dare you interrupt?"
Embrace these feline lessons. After all, sometimes doing absolutely nothing is exactly what you need.
Stay cozy, my friend. Toby Black